What Won't Follow

Dr. Reyna Martinez arrived at Dr. Patricia Coleman's office at 6 AM on June 19th.

Mandatory shadow evaluation. Required by the state licensing board. Required because three separate clients had filed complaints about her shadow behavior during sessions.

Reyna had been avoiding this for two months.

Now, she was out of extensions.

Dr. Coleman's office was in a converted brownstone. Ground floor. Big windows facing east. The morning sun was just starting to come up.

"Dr. Martinez," Patricia Coleman said, opening the door. She was in her sixties. Gray hair. Kind eyes. Her shadow stood perfectly still beside her. "Thank you for coming so early. I find dawn sessions are most revealing."

"Because shadows are longest?" Reyna asked.

"Because defenses are lowest."

They went inside. Patricia gestured to a chair positioned in the center of the room. Windows on three sides. The rising sun would hit it from multiple angles.

Reyna sat. Her shadow pooled beneath the chair.

Patricia pulled out a tablet. Began making notes. "Tell me about your practice."

"I'm a marriage counselor. Fifteen years experience."

"And how is your own marriage?"

Reyna's shadow flinched.

Patricia noted it. "How long have you been married?"

"Twelve years."

"Children?"

"No."

"Do you want children?"

Reyna's shadow stood up.

Walked to the nearest window. Pressed its palms against the glass.

"I did," Reyna said carefully. "David didn't."

"Does your shadow often move independently during sessions?"

"Sometimes."

"And does it move like this? Like it's trying to leave?"

"Yes."

"How long has it been doing that?"

Reyna thought about it. "Three years."

They sat in silence. The sun was rising higher. Light coming through the windows from multiple angles. Reyna's shadow was getting longer. Darker.

"What do you want, Reyna?" Patricia asked.

"I want to save my marriage."

Her shadow shook its head.

"I want David to prioritize us."

Her shadow shook its head again.

"I want..." Reyna stopped. Closed her eyes. "I want to leave. I want to walk out the door and never come back."

Her shadow sat down on the floor. Put its head in its hands.

The sun came fully over the horizon. Bright and direct through the east-facing windows.

Reyna's shadow stood up. Walked to the door. Put its hand on the handle.

"I have three sessions today," Reyna said. "I have clients who need me."

Patricia stood. Walked to where her own shadow was standing. Put her hand out.

Her shadow took it.

Reyna blinked. "That's impossible."

"No," Patricia said quietly. "It's just honest."

Patricia's shadow squeezed her hand. Then let go.

Reyna stood up. Her shadow was at the door. Waiting.

Reyna walked through. Her shadow stepped with her. Side by side for the first time in years.

Reyna went to her office.

Her phone rang on the way. David.

"Where are you? You didn't come home last night."

"I stayed at the office."

"Is everything okay?"

"No."

Silence. Then: "What's wrong?"

"Do you love me?"

Another silence. Longer this time.

"I care about you," David said.

"That's not what I asked."

She could hear him breathing. Thinking.

"No," he said finally. "I don't. I don't think I ever did."

Reyna closed her eyes. "Thank you for being honest."

"Do you love me?"

"No."

"So what do we do?"

"We stop pretending."

She hung up.

Reyna went through her day. Three couples sessions. She listened to them talk about communication problems. About resentment. About whether love was enough.

She watched their shadows.

After the last session, Andrea Morrison called.

"Dr. Martinez? You said you had something to tell me?"

"Can you meet me tomorrow? Early?"

"What time?"

"Before sunrise."

Reyna hung up.

She sat in the dim waiting room. Pulled out her client files. Thought about every couple she'd tried to help.

Then she packed up her office. Client files. Diplomas. Fifteen years.

She turned off the lights. Locked the door. Walked outside into the long evening light.

Her shadow walked beside her. Not following. Not leading.

Just walking.

For the first time in three years.

Her shadow took her hand.

And together they walked into the evening.